I had another nightmare.

Do you know what I dream of anymore? This, exactly this horror of heartbreak that you are okay with living out right in front of my eyes.  The chains I see around you, pulling tighter and further away from me.  I have nightmares of you using and then I wake up and you are one step further away from me, closer to death. I cannot stop you or say the right words to help you stop yourself. I fell asleep crying. I cried in my sleep.  I am awake, crying.  The pain of watching your dance, such a beautifully designed tragedy,  unfolding before my eyes is killing what is left of my heart.  You asked me if I was okay this morning.  I could barely whisper, "I am in pain." I just want to make it all stop.  Stop the world's endless spinning and yours.  I have to go... and sooner than you can be ready for.

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