Do you know what I dream of anymore? This, exactly this horror of heartbreak that you are okay with living out right in front of my eyes. The chains I see around you, pulling tighter and further away from me. I have nightmares of you using and then I wake up and you are one step further away from me, closer to death. I cannot stop you or say the right words to help you stop yourself. I fell asleep crying. I cried in my sleep. I am awake, crying. The pain of watching your dance, such a beautifully designed tragedy, unfolding before my eyes is killing what is left of my heart. You asked me if I was okay this morning. I could barely whisper, "I am in pain." I just want to make it all stop. Stop the world's endless spinning and yours. I have to go... and sooner than you can be ready for.